id be glad to
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
