It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
