You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
