Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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