just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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