It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
