just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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