No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
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