Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
what day is it and did you see me today?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize