Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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