one two three fourrrrnication!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
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