how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
