Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
