he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
