I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize