just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
ok first of all what the fuck
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize