where am i from again
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
