Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
