he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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