member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
