Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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