Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
