Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I could make wine with my vomit
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize