listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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