On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
And then he peed in my hair
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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