I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
