he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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