You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
