I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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