He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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