some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
