I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
