i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
