UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
