I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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