your thong is hanging out like whoa
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Randomize
