There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
