Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
