my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Mom said you looked used
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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