I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize