is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Two words: blizzard sex
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
