I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
