Just took my morning after pill in the library
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize