yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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