Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
