where am i from again
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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