She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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