my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
