Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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