Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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