So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
