Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
ugly people sure do ruin things
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
