I will die if light touches me.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
