Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
