Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
