just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
