OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize