It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
