you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
