I cannot find my penis.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
True college students do jello shots in the library
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