She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
