i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize