I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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