okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She even gives head with a lisp.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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