Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
