I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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