Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
