either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize