I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
