What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
