Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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