i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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