Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
