Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
