Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She even gives head with a lisp.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
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