Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
