she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm sobbing to NWA
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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