kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
