her vagine was all disorganized.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
