I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize