You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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