U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
