I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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