just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
