i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
