I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my sisters under your porch take her home
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
