Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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